Warm Ponds

 

I cant seem to upload the story of my last two online guys.  They are friends now who live close to me and we help each other.  They both drive me nuts and yet I respect them and give them as much time as I can.  Mostly Im happy here alone.  I like to be with just me.

The truth is Im not very nice.  I like these last two guys but I keep them at arms length.  They are both rich and fascinating; fucked up and kind; star buddies and strangers.  How did this all happen?  How do people come into our lives?

Sex is a great motivator.  There is more than that with these two guys but what we had was really good.  Really good.  They appreciate me.  I need lots of space tho.  One fellow has found someone else now and Im hoping the other one will too.  I dont want to be their wives or even steady girlfriend.  I get mean when Im tamed.  I like to be free. but that isnt easy.

I need money.  I need love.  I need help.  So I get it.  The trick is to give it.  I try.  Life is so fragile.  These pictures of me were taken at Warm Ponds here in Puna district on the Big Island of Hawaii.  It does not exist anymore.  That is heartbreaking.  HEart breaking.  So sad.  Buried in lava from the last eruption.  A new beach has been born but it isnt the same.

I went swimming in Warm Ponds with both of my guys.   They hugged me and we floated in the steamy water with people from all over the world who love Hawaii.  I miss floating there.  I miss floating.  I will float again.  Im not dead yet.  Yet.

ME

I have a cold that is creeping through my body but it didnt stop me from a few puffs and a walk outside.  I found this vine and it was a perfect thing to wrap around me.  That is all I can handle with this cold.  I dont want to be around another human or talk to anyone and it has been two lonely days sneezing and laying around.  This vine gave me a hug that I needed.  I hate that it has to die now.