He is still here!

Maybe it is love. We seem to go through things and then find each other again. I have been helping my daughter with the death of her boyfriend and he has had a hernia operation so now we find each other again and I am actually glad he hasnt given up on me. He says he loves me and will until the end of life. He is determined to love me in spite of my objections. I cling to him now. I need him. I want him. I like love in my life. I give up and give in.

What is this thing called Love? Ive always said I was looking for it when I was going through all the men in my life. Nope, Next. Next Next. And then here is a guy who says he loves me and I just can’t believe it. Today I want to blend my life with him. His care means so much after our date driving up to the top of the volcano to a Thai restaurant we like. We then took a long nap together and it felt so good. We are compatible in bed. We really should honor that. He does. I do.

I took this photo of orchids outside the restaurant in the rain. I told him I missed him tonight. Here I am in my own cabin trying to survive and wishing I could really trust this guy. After dating for one year I know him pretty well. His two red flags of being short and conservative drive me nuts. I am glad he is still in my life and Im looking forward to what the next year will bring. We are not getting any younger. It would be nice to have a buddy for this last part of life. I can try to make it work. Maybe I can try.

Oh for Pete’s Sake…I just reread this post and it is so sappy sweet. Today I am here in a deluge and he is over at his house. A tempest is brewing outdoors that is one of the fiercest storms I have heard. I am fine. I like to take care of myself. How could I ever trust anyone. He annoys me when he comes over here and I have to keep strict boundaries on our relationship as he is fragile and I cant count on him for comfort or help. Phooey. He is just who he is…..sigh….

This blog is a diary of my life. There have been over sixty fellows who have tried to love me. I dont trust any of them. HA…